My Family Invites Ex Husband to Get Togethrrs

I don't usually post about my personal life online, just take decided to reach out to strangers to hear their opinions. I was married for xiii years before I finally cutting ties with my ex and we got divorced. My ex-husband and I are dandy at co-parenting. We aren't friends but can go along enough to endeavour to practise what's all-time for our five kids. I accept full custody and he has visitation. We both nourish school conferences and events and make "big decisions" regarding the kids together.

When I fabricated the conclusion to divorce, I was prepared to "surrender" a lot of things. I knew I would struggle financially and was prepared to give up my prison cell phone, cable Television receiver, eating out, and even the possibility of having to move to a smaller house or apartment. I wasn't prepared to give up my family unit, and that really took me by surprise.

Why I Want My Family to Cutting Ties with My Ex

I've ever been very close to my older sister. We moved our families from California to Utah together and used to do everything together (vacations, outings, shopping, etc.). Soon later on my divorce, my ex started attention all of my nephew's ball games. I attended a couple but soon stopped because I wanted to cut ties with my ex, I didn't want to have to be around him.

As time went on, I noticed that my sister (and her husband and kids) still stayed pretty close to my ex. One of the get-go "big" holidays after my divorce was Thanksgiving. We had agreed that I would have the kids. I planned on going to my sister'due south house for Thanksgiving dinner equally I had ever done before. Equally it got closer to Thanksgiving, I started worrying that my ex would exist there. It'due south not that we can't exist at the same place. We don't hate each other, only I don't like being around him.

A few days before Thanksgiving, I text my sister to ask her if he would be there. She said she didn't know yet. Two days before Thanksgiving, I text again and asked and let her know that if he was going to be there, the kids and I would not. She responded and told me that yes, he would be there. That was one of the hardest Thanksgivings for me. The twenty-four hours before Thanksgiving, I went shopping and bought everything for Thanksgiving dinner. The kids and I spent the day at domicile together. We cooked together and had our own little dinner. But it wasn't the same. We weren't around family.

This kind of thing has continued, and I take distanced myself from her and her family.

About a year and a half after my divorce, my little sis and her hubby decided to movement from California to be closer to united states. I was beyond excited that I would have the hazard to exist shut to my little sis, nieces, and new baby nephew. I couldn't wait for them to motion so I could take a relationship with them. I was excited until I learned that they were moving into a house 5 doors down from my ex-hubby.

Since the move, my little sister has as well gotten really close to my ex. He goes to her house during the holidays. He invites them over for barbecues. They all carve pumpkins (Halloween) and build gingerbread houses (Christmas) together, etc.

Presently after my little sis moved, my mom did too. Now, my two sisters, my mom, and I all live in the same town.

My ex has our kids every other weekend. Every time I choice them up, I hear the stories of what they did. He too has a girlfriend now. They (my ex, his girlfriend, my sisters, my brothers-in-law, my mom, and my nieces and nephews) have Superbowl parties together, have "family unit days" at the park, go shooting, exit to dinner or breakfast, etc. My sis has become great friends with my ex'due south girlfriend. They all hang out together. They (and my kids) went and busy my ex'southward work for his birthday, etc., etc., etc.

I try really hard to do what'due south best for my kids. Even though it hurts me badly to hear of all the things my ex, my kids, and my family unit do together all the time, I never say anything about it to my kids. I mind to their stories and hold dorsum the tears until I'grand lone because I don't want them to feel bad or think that they are doing anything wrong. But I truly think it'south wrong. I wish they would just cut ties with my ex already.

I get along with him when I have to: when I feel it'due south best for our kids (birthdays, school events). I am always civil with/to him and never say anything bad about him to or in front of my kids. I listen to how my kids are developing a relationship with his girlfriend. It hurts sometimes to hear how close they are to her and all the "motherly" kinds of things they do together, simply I think that'south skillful for my kids and I try to support it.

I feel similar I do everything I can to help my kids and always try to expect at things from other points of views, but I don't think I should have to choose to either give up my family or spend so much fourth dimension (including every holiday) with my ex-husband. I don't like who I am or how I experience around him. I become unhappy and grouchy. I shouldn't have to feel that manner in order to spend time with my family, and I don't think my kids should take to run across me like that either.

I feel like an emotional mess and cry any time I call up about all of it. I don't talk to or see my family unit anymore. I don't get to meet my little niece or nephew grow. I don't get to know and spend fourth dimension with them.

My question is this:

Am I unreasonable to want my family to cut ties with him and support me and my decision? Or should I be expected to merely "bargain with information technology"?

My Family Invites Ex Husband to Get Togethrrs

Source: https://www.divorcemag.com/blog/want-family-to-cut-ties-with-ex-am-i-being-unreasonable

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